it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
