how can u be prego again
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
