I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
