we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
