none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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