Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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