Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
