I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
