I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
