No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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