In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
