I heard we made out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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