You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you didnt know i had herpes?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
