Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
