is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
