I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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