she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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