You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
