Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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