I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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