it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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