you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
