My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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