oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
soo... how was my night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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