If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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