the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
