I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize