Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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