Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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