He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
