at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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