Are we in a gay sports bar?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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