? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
