she was so not down for the gang bang
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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