I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wanna bring you to show and tell
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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