Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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