who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize