good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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