So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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