Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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