Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
