Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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