He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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