u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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