YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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