I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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