In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
