i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
