Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
