I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
