i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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