i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
