I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
