woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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