On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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