Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Boobs are out for the taking
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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