Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
