This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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