we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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