Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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