No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The Olympian is in my bed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
