I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
