Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize